The 10 Funniest Quotes In Call Me Kat


After hitting Fox Network’s weekly lineup in March 2021, Call Me Kat has been an enjoyable show for viewers of all ages. The sitcom follows Kat, a single cat lover and coffee shop owner, trying to find love while balancing work. With the help of her friends and mother, Kat is able to have some stability, but not without a few hiccups and a series of crazy events thrown in, of course.

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Based on the British sitcom Miranda, the lovable show has its occasional serious moments, but for the most part is downright funny. Kat and the rest of the diverse cast of characters are weird, caring, and absurdly charming. From tail to nose, Call Me Kat has no short supply of hilarious quotes.


Carter Calls Out Kat

“I Don’t Go To Your Café And Invent New Cats. You Know What List You’re On.”

Carter delivers drinks to Kat and Rani in Call Me Kat

In the first episode of Call Me Kat, “Plus One,” Kat drops by the local bar. There she runs into her college friend Max. The owner, Carter, interrupts their conversation and warns Max to watch out for Kat because she “likes to play with the soda gun” to create new drinks.

The most comical part of this conversation comes when Carter answers back to Kat’s denial of the accusation, as Carter reminds her he doesn’t do whatever he wants in her establishment, a cat café. Viewers cannot help but picture what that would even look like.

Caricature That Is Sadly Accurate

“You Said You Own A Cat Café, So I Drew You Living Alone. The Cats Are Like Your Babies, And You Eat Canned Soup For Dinner Every Night.”

Kat holds one of her cats in Call Me Kat

In the cold open of “Double Date,” Kat talks about how people are often judged by their appearance and what is seen on the surface. The opening cuts immediately to Kat looking at a caricature artist on the street right outside her apartment, holding a drawing of her.

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The image consists of a smiling Kat holding up soup as she cooks with five cats in her kitchen, one of which is in a baby’s stroller. The artist explains why she has depicted her based on the fact she owns a cat café. The sad fact that the drawing is “spot on” – as Kat admits moments later – is truly hilarious even if it is a little sad.

Randi Flirts With A Man That Refuses To Tip

“My Beautiful Phone Art That You Will Never See, Which Includes Two Cats Holding A Heart And A Grandpa Cat Sitting In Front Of A Rainbow. And You Know He’s A Grandpa Because He’s Smoking A Pipe.”

Randi and Daniel at the cat cafe in Call Me Kat

Later in “Double Date,” Randi successfully chases down a man as he is leaving the bar because he did not leave a tip. Daniel, played by Lamorne Morris – best known for his role as New Girl‘s funniest character, Winston – tells her that he does not tip as he sees the practice as a way for businesses to avoid paying employees fair wages.

His explanation makes Randi change her tune completely. In a hilarious turn of events, she begins flirting with him and even drops this awkward line about her “beautiful art” as she loses herself to Daniel’s charm.

Kat Becomes Renee

“I’m Getting The Last Slice Of Grandma’s Apple Pie, A Tickle Of Mossy Earth, And A Hint Of Wet Penny Stolen From A Mall Fountain.”

A drunk Kat sits at a table in Call Me Kat

It must have taken Kat- played by Big Bang Theory actress Mayim Bialik – several takes to make it through this scene without laughing. The quote, and the scene it’s taken from in episode three, “Vacation,” is insanely funny.

Like Bialik’s TBBT character Amy has lots of hidden details, Kat is full of quirks which include creating alter-egos. Here, a drunken Kat is acting as her bourbon blogger alter-ego, Renee, and the moment is a masterclass in physical comedy. The way she describes the “notes” of the alcohol is delivered in such a way that viewers can’t help but laugh, especially as they drink in exactly what she’s saying. It’s hard to see how these very different descriptions come from a single sample of bourbon, but Bialik completely sells it.

Phil Accidentally Eats Special Brownies

“Oh, Excuse Me. I Got A Song In My Head. I’ve Got To Be The Music.”

Phil and Kat dancing at a wedding in Call Me Kat

Of all the vivid characters in Call Me Kat, Phil is the most fun of all. Played by Leslie Jordan of Will & Grace fame, Phil is an older man who adds a dash of pizzazz to the show.

In the fourth episode of the first season, “Therapy,” Phil mistakenly eats brownies filled with the medicinal marijuana he picked up for his mother. He begins to spiral out of control and Randi even loses him for a bit. Fortunately, Randi finds him at the bar with Max and Carter. Unfortunately, however, Randi thinks he is invisible and begins dancing and “being the music” around customers in this hilarious moment.

Kat Kicks It At The Gym

“He’s Working My Body, He’s Working My Mind. Mind, Body. Body, Mind.”

Kat on a bike at the gym in Call Me Cat

In episode six, “Gym,” Kat joins a local gym in an attempt to get into better physical shape. Similar to when anyone starts working out intensely after not doing it for a while, Kat finds the workout tough – and it shows.

The trainer instructs her to find inspiration that will drive her, but she struggles and mutters this quote to the audience. It is a relatable moment that the audience understands very well. That moment when your body and mind are hanging on by a thread during or after a hard workout.

An Opening At The Cemetery

“But They Assured Me He’s Not Going Back In.”

Sheila and Kat stand back to back in Call Me Kat

Kat’s mom, Sheila, is one farcically funny character. In this Call Me Cat funny moment, Sheila, played by Swoosie Kurtz, lets Kat know that there has been an opening next to the plot of land where her father is buried – and she plans to have Kat buried there.

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This alone is an absurd thing to drop into casual conversation, but to make it even funnier it is first thing in the morning and Kat is only in her 30s. Kat acts on behalf of the audience when she asks, “How does a burial plot just become available?” As Sheila gives an explanation, she finishes up with “But they assumed he’s not going back in.” Much like her character, this quote is outrageous.

Randi Asks Phil To Become A Model

“I’ve Been Called A Lot Of Things, But Masculine And Modern Do Not Rate High On That List.”

Randi and Phil in the cat cafe kitchen in Call Me Cat

In “Business Council,” Randi is worried about her school photography project. She explains her conundrum as Phil is decorating some cute cake pops. It is through his little side conversation with the cake pops that Randi realizes that Phil is the perfect person to model “modern masculinity” for her project.

With his flamboyance and old-school sensibilities, Phil – and everyone else – certainly wouldn’t consider him to be the face of modern masculinity, which is what makes this line so funny. However, Phil does eventually take Randi up on the offer to become a male model.

Kat Is Playing With Fire

“So Right Now, Every Other Man In The World Is Just A Sexless Bleh In A Baseball Cap.”

Kat and Oscar stand face to face in Call Me Kat

Just as audiences were thinking Max and Kat would finally get together and join the ranks of TV’s most underrated sitcom couples, in comes Oscar to sweep Kat off her feet. Kat spends a romantic night with Oscar and sparks fly. Randi tells her to choose between the two love interests because she shouldn’t “play with fire,” to which Kat tells Randi that every other man, Max included, is just a “sexless bleh in a baseball cap” compared to Oscar.

Of course, Kat goes on to ignore the advice and almost kisses Max later in the twelfth episode, “Salsa,” which simply adds to the hilariousness of her thinking she doesn’t have feelings for Max.

Kat And The Cameos

“Ooh, I’m Going To Have Joey Lawrence’s Number.”

Mayim Bialik and her former blossom co-stars in Call Me Kat

In the season 2 premiere, “Call Me Kerfuffled,” three actors from her favorite childhood show come to Kat’s café. This includes Joey Lawrence, Jenna von Oÿ, and Michael Stoyanov, all appearing as themselves. These three talented actors were all leads in the classic sitcom, Blossom, which also starred Mayim Bialik.

Joey tells Kat to “go for the dream” with Max instead of staying with Oscar. Kat then freaks out that all of them are there, particularly Joey. It’s a creative way to integrate the actors from Bialik’s first big role in television and sneak in this funny line, especially when in reality Bialik probably has his number.

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